Dinner Conversation (04/28/2024)

Last evening, I was blessed by the opportunity to share a meal with two of my children and three of my grandsons (ages 11-13). We went to a local bistro to catch a bite before the boys began their overnight at my daughter’s home. The young lady at the front counter asked us how many were in our party, grabbed that number of menus, and showed us to our table. Once seated, I asked her, “I apologize for asking again because you’ve told be me before, but can you tell me your name again?” She smiled and then told me her name. I followed up with another question, “Now it’s spelled uniquely isn’t it?”  Her smile broadened to a beam as she spelled it for me. And we began a conversation with her.

After she left, the kids started sharing how their dad does the same thing with people, asking their names and speaking with them personally. The youngest shared how they’ve come to know a manager at a local restaurant and how well he treats them when they visit. Then my son spoke up and said he’d learned to do that from me. And I spoke up and revealed that I learned to do it from my father. Finally, the oldest grandson shared what he’d learned by watching this unfold multiple times: “It matters to them that you call them by name, that you see them.” And I added, “It makes a huge difference in our interactions. When we call another by name, they feel seen and appreciated. And we see the person before us, not just the function. Seeing the other calls us to behave well.”

As the evening unfolded, I sat and listened to my grandkids and kids. I was amazed at how my grandkids are growing and learning and becoming. I was amazed to learn that my kids listened and learned useful things from me and that they are sharing them with their own kids.

As I reflected last evening at the end of a wonderful day, I thought again of the staff at the bistro. I remembered the smiles of both the hostess and our waitress as we called them by name throughout the evening. I gave thanks for my father’s example and wisdom and for being able to pass this on to my children and grandchildren – the importance of affirming another through the simple use of one’s name. I also gave thanks for the personal transformation within me and my family when we affirmed the other’s value and presence through the use of their names – how it elicited from us a kinder and more respectful engagement.

We are created in relationship with our LORD/Creator and with our family. We are created for relationships with our LORD and one another. It’s all about relationships. It’s about how we will always and everywhere strive to love our LORD with all our being and allow that to inform our other relationships. It’s about how love of our LORD leads us to relate to one another with love and with respect. It’s all about relationships.

How could we be instruments of the LORD’s divine will and divine design if we insisted day in and day out to focus on our relationships and to strive for the loving path always.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.