Don’t Wish That for Me (08/27/2025)

Recently, as I was visiting with a friend, my appointment at the cancer center came up. My friend said, “I feel so badly about your cancers. I wish you never had them.” I didn’t hesitate for a moment. I immediately told her, “Oh, don’t wish that for me. It wasn’t the route I would have chosen for myself, but it has taught me more than any school I ever attended.”

I meant what I said. Truly, it wasn’t my choice. And I must admit that there were moments when I wished the same for myself that my friend wished for me. But the truth is, I know the LORD was with me and I came out the other side changed, I believe for the better. Hardships and suffering, while none of us invite it, often transform us into a better us than we were.

When I look back, I must give thanks for so much that came into my life because of my bouts with cancer. I learned that I am not invincible. That was a lesson I struggled with most. In my teens, I really thought I was. In my twenties, my first round of cancer taught me to think again, and while I was at it, to allow others to help me. And they did. A family I hardly knew, learning of my need, came and picked up our three children under the age of 4 for several days in a row so I could rest. And my sister-in-law took our three children for 6 weeks so I could recover from surgery when I couldn’t lift any of my children because they were over my weight limit.

The next bout with cancer taught me that there are more important things than our physical features. That one was hard, too. I never thought I was that kind of person, until parts of me were no longer there and I was sure everyone noticed. But it opened my eyes to the true hardships others face and to be grateful first for what I do have rather than focus on what I don’t. And my sense of gratitude grew.

The most recent bout taught me that we are not alone. I feel badly that I didn’t realize it before; perhaps I did, but not to the extent that I realized it this last bout. My children went out of their way to create an adventure kit for me with everything I was going to need to deal with the effects of chemo. And my husband went with me to every treatment and sat with me for hours and hours on end. And I recognized that “we” had cancer, not just me. And “we” were in this together. Yep, I’m sometimes slow to catch on. And as we made it through that patch, together, I learned a bit more about true empathy and compassion from some pretty remarkable people.

And so, while I would have preferred a classroom rather than a clinic to learn my lessons, I recognize that I have been blessed by the LORD throughout these trying moments.

One of my own children asked me if I was mad at God for giving me cancer. I had to explain to her that God didn’t give me cancer; I got my cancer from the world, from a drug my mother took, from my genes, from the environment. But the LORD was with me through it all. And along the way, I was blessed multiple times by those the LORD brought to me to comfort me, to care for me.

As we continue our journeys, let us commit to keeping our eyes and ears, our minds and hearts open to the LORD and the wonders that He can bring into our lives in even the darkest times.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.