That Gap (03/12/2024)

I remember the day my oldest daughter was hospitalized with rheumatic fever. The small city doctor was so kind. He knew I was worried about my daughter, her pain, her high fever. He also knew the odds that this would lead to even greater challenges for my daughter and myself. He was a man of faith. He took my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, “Just be the mother the LORD made you to be.”

And so, all the while she was hospitalized, as I sat with her while she slept, that was my prayer. I knew that I had a long way to go between the mother I was and the mother the LORD created me to be. I prayed so hard for the patience to stay the course, no matter what. I prayed for the love that my daughter deserved and that I knew the LORD had invested in me. I prayed for the wisdom to know what to do and the perseverance to do it.

One day, while I was in my daughter’s room, she had a visitor. She was a small woman; while she seemed frail in her frame, the brilliant light of her personality as she warmly greeted me and asked about my daughter was huge. It turned out that she was the doctor’s wife. She’d had rheumatic fever as a child. She’d come to visit my daughter and encourage her on her journey. As I watched her talk and share and laugh with my daughter, I could see more clearly the gap between who I was and who I was called to be, but more importantly, I could see the way across the gap – pure love.

I was reminded of that time in our lives recently when my daughter was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that would challenge the way she lived. I remembered the good doctor’s advice and his wife’s example. And I took it to prayer; LORD, help me be the one you created me to be for my daughter.

I have written about working and praying for the grace to become the daughters and sons the LORD created us to be, the disciples Christ calls us to be. I know for a fact that every day I can see that gap between the goodness I know is woven within every fiber of my being by my Creator and that is called into becoming by my Savior, and I want so much to be that person, to close that gap between who I am and how I act to who I am called to be and how I am called to live. I have made progress along the way, over the years, but I know I’ve still work to do.

This is our Lenten journey, isn’t it? To close that gap between the ones we are and the ones we are created and called to be. I think of the doctor’s wife who showed me the compass for that journey – pure love.

As we continue our Lenten journeys, let us pray with hope that the Spirit can increase within us enthusiasm for being who we are created to be and stir the love that is woven within us by our creator so as to kindle the love necessary to become who we are created to be. Let this Lent see us close that gap.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.