Trust on a Starry Night (04/15/2025)

The move had been traumatic. We’d moved so many times, but this one was different. Our kids were older and starting all over was challenging for them. My husband had to stay back in Iowa for months because his office didn’t close until November, but we wanted the kids to begin the year in their new school, so, we bought the house in August, in time for the new school year. And the house proved to be part of the challenge.

The first day in the new house, the deck stairs collapsed, we had a water leak in the upstairs bathroom that ended up dripping from the kitchen ceiling, and the heater inspector condemned our heater until a part could be replaced. Alone, in a new place, trying to get the kids settled in a house not completely functioning and in new schools, with finances because of the move a problem, I struggled.

When we first arrived, I had registered with the parish and offered to teach faith formation as a previous DRE. They took me up on my offer and asked if I would also help chaperone a confirmation retreat in October. When the day for the retreat arrived, I was a mess. The stresses of the move had built up. I had a meltdown alone in my kitchen that day. But, I promised to go, so Kenneth came home early Friday to take over. And I left for the retreat.

That night at Camp Gray, out in the middle of nowhere, the kids were all in their rooms, the majority of the chaperones were together in the lodge’s center room, and I decided to go for a walk alone. As I walked the gravel roads of the camp, I looked up. The stars were amazing. I could see them so well in the darkness of that remote site. I stopped, looked up, and realized – they had been there all along – they had been there when I couldn’t see them at home because of all that interfered with my vision.

And the LORD and I had a much-needed talk that evening, alone together, in the quiet darkness on that starry night. I told the LORD my troubles even though I knew He was well aware of them because like the stars, He’d been there all along. And I turned them over to Him. I promised to trust Him. I asked for strength and for hope. And I could feel the LORD’s presence and the infusion of hope. The LORD had plans for me, plans for my good.

Things turned around. We got the heater fixed. Kenneth finally got to be with us and our family was whole. The kids made new friends and began to flourish. I was hired as the new DRE for the parish for youth and it afforded me the opportunity to go back to school to get my degrees which led eventually to my working at the diocese and then being hired at the seminary. Over the next 20 years, I remembered my conversation with the LORD on that starry night several times as new roads opened.

Life has taught me that the LORD is with me, always and everywhere, and that the LORD’s love for me is real and transformative. Life has also taught me that when I feel alone and afraid, it isn’t that the LORD isn’t there – it’s that the world is obstructing my view. We must trust in the LORD. If you find yourself needing such an infusion of trust, might I suggest a prayerful walk under the stars.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.