When We Don’t Know What We Need (8/3/2023)

This week, in preparation for my daughter’s surgery on her knee, I went to St. Vincent de Paul Society to borrow a wheelchair for her to use during recovery. All I really knew was that it needed to be light enough for me or her son to lift it in and out of the car. When I got to the store, Ramona was up front and available to help me. She took me to the section where all the wheelchairs, walkers, shower chairs, etc. are stored for lending. I picked out one and sat in it to try it out. It was comfy. I tried folding it up and found it quite manageable. Then, just as I was lifting it to make sure that I could do, one of the staff says, “We need to get Helen.” I was ready to make my choice and leave, but they insisted. Good thing because, you see, I knew what I wanted but I didn’t know what I needed.

Helen came right away. She took one look at the wheelchair I’d selected and as gently as possible informed me I’d chosen poorly. Well, she didn’t say that. What she said was, “Will your daughter need a footrest for her leg?” Suddenly, I realized she would need a footrest, and wouldn’t you know, when I looked down, the chair I’d selected didn’t have one. And before I knew it, Helen had found one that did and met my other criteria. She showed me how to work it (open it, fold it, etc.).

I told her thank you and started to leave when she asked, “Won’t she need a shower stool or chair, too?” I turned around, and I’m sure I looked like an alley cat in headlights. “You know,” I admitted, “I bet she will, but I hadn’t realized it until you asked.” So, we looked at a couple of different models and settled on one we thought would work best. Then Helen offered to help me to the car with my acquisitions.

As I drove out of the parking lot of St. Vinny’s, I admitted it out loud. “I know, LORD, I could screw up a one can milk route, but thank you for sending someone to help me.” I thought about that little incident in the special equipment section of the local St. Vincent’s a lot that day. It was a “minor” thing that reminded me of a “major” lesson I’ve learned but frequently need heavenly reminders of on my journey. What I ask for and what I want isn’t always what I really need.

I thought about so many times in my life when I didn’t get what I thought I needed or when I asked for things prayerfully that didn’t materialize. But as I pondered it, I found that what I did get led to something I didn’t realize I needed and honestly wanted, I just didn’t know it. Providence has graced my life in ways I couldn’t imagine.

I’ve learned to take my needs to the LORD, lay out my thoughts as I would with any treasured friend, but then recognizing that the LORD is more than my friend and wants what is best for me always, I end with “Your will, not mine, LORD.” And the LORD never disappoints; sometimes it just takes me a while to realize that.

As we journey in faith, hope and love, following in the footsteps of our loving brother and redeemer, let us always remember his example of seeking prayerfully the will of the Father. In the end, the LORD of us all, our creator, knows what we need even when all we know is what we want.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.