“Why didn’t you tell me that?” (08/31/2025)

Yesterday was a working Saturday. Most are. I had a list the length of my arm that I wanted to get accomplished. It went slowly, though, because I’d hurt my knee the day before. I wasn’t sure what I did, but I knew that about every other step my left knee let me know it was there. About 1 p.m., when my laundry was all hung, I asked my husband if he’d like to go to the grocery store with me. He hesitated.

He asked me if it was a short run where he’d just sit in the car. I had to admit that it wasn’t. So, he agreed to go with me and go into the store. We made good time. He pushed the cart. I grabbed the items on the list. We discussed some purchases, but most were just items from the list. He unloaded the cart for me at the checkout. I paid the bill. And as we were walking out of the store, I said to him, “Well, thanks for coming with me. It was pretty painless.” He laughed and said, “For some more than others.”

We stowed the groceries in the back of the car, got into the car, and started off. I told him again how much I appreciated his coming with me. Then I told him that I was worried about my knee and what I’d do if it went out on me in the grocery store. And he asked me, “Why didn’t you tell me that?” And I had to admit that it is hard for me to admit my need sometimes. But I knew what he meant. If I had just told him up front that I needed him and his help, there would have been no further discussion. He’d have gladly gone for me.

I thought about his question last night as I reflected on my day. Why do I have trouble admitting that I need help? Why do I hesitate to ask another for help when I need it, when I need them? And I realized my humility isn’t quite at the level it should be. I need to retire the “I’ll do it myself!” logo and cap.

I’ve been working on humility all my life. It is a virtue I know I need more of, but it is one I find hard to allow to take over completely. Today’s gospel is all about that. Jesus tells the parable of the wedding banquet and the seating dilemma. Do we take a seat of honor only to be asked to give it up to someone more worthy? Or do we humbly sit at the end of the table? I like to think I’d be at the end. But I’m not completely there yet. I’m somewhere in the middle.

I’m learning that humility isn’t all about the lack of self-sufficiency but rather the gift of recognizing that we aren’t meant to do this alone. I’m learning as I go that humility means I am aware of all who have a role in the one I am. I’m becoming more aware of those without whom I would not be happy and healthy. And I’m learning that admitting my need for help whether from the LORD or from my husband doesn’t make me less but actually more. Yep, I’m learning the LORD loves irony.

“Why didn’t you say that?” Are there things in our lives that we don’t want to admit because it means we aren’t as self-sufficient as we think we should be? Are we robbing others of doing what they want to do more than we realize? Are we robbing others of the opportunity to choose loving responses and to give of themselves for the sake of another?

As we continue our journeys of faith, let us commit to being fully honest with others about our needs in a moment, giving them the true opportunity to serve with love. Let us recognize that there is much to be gained from being honest with one another, especially about our limitations and needs. And let us be willing to accept the help of others along the way.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.