Late Night Wisdom (07/16/2025)

My grandmother Lena, my father’s mother, came to stay with our family in 1968. We didn’t have a room just for her, so my parents told me that I was going to share my room with Grandma. It was a hectic time, I was graduating from high school and then preparing to go away to college at Iowa State University. But I learned that year that the LORD does write straight with crooked lines.

Every night, Grandma Lena and I would get ready for bed at the same time. Then we’d crawl into our spaces in the double bed (Grandma went first, taking the left side by the wall and I went last, taking the right). And then Grandma would insist that we pray. She would lead our prayer time. And then she’d say, “Good night, sleep tight.” And we’d both lay still until we drifted off to sleep so as not to disturb the other.

But one night, after Grandma did her “Good night, sleep tight,” I broke the pattern. “I’m afraid to go to college,” I blurted out. She didn’t immediately respond. At first, I thought she’d already drifted off. When she did speak, her voice was very calm. She asked me why I was afraid. I admitted that I’d struggled with my last two years of high school, being an outsider, a southern girl with an accent in a midwestern school, without an established clique, it was hard. I made so many mistakes. I shared that the idea of starting over again  scared me.

She listened quietly. When she was sure I was done, she spoke. She told me she understood fear, which I couldn’t believe because she always appeared so brave and confident. Then she told me about her fear when Grandpa Boyle had his stroke and she had those 9 boys to raise, a farm to keep going, and Grandpa to care for, as well.  She shared that every day for years she was afraid. “What did you do?” I asked.

“I got up and did it anyway because I realized I had to show up.”  Then she found my hand in the dark, took it and squeezed it, and told me, “Don’t you think your dad is afraid? Don’t you think he worries about how he is going to provide for his family every day?” I must admit that I’d never thought of that. I’d never considered my dad someone who would fear anything. She went on, “Everyone except fools are afraid. It is part of life. Jesus was afraid of the cross, but He went anyway.” I must admit that one I really hadn’t thought of before.

We talked a bit longer about how fear can rob us of possibilities when we let it take control. Finally, I asked the big question. “So, what should I do?” She gave me a hushed chuckle and said simply, “Pray to God for guidance and grace and then give life all you’ve got, especially your love.”

I did go off to Iowa State. I didn’t get the degree I went seeking, in fact, I didn’t get a degree then at all. Instead, I met Kenneth. And when he asked me to marry him, I said, “Yes,” even though I was somewhat afraid of what that would mean and how it would go. But I took Grandma’s advice then, too. “Pray to God for guidance and grace and then give life all you’ve got, especially your love.”

Over the years, I’ve considered Grandma Lena’s advice that evening. I’ve pondered her awakening in me an awareness of the struggles of others with fears. I never read of Jesus’ prayer in the garden that I don’t think of Grandma’s words. Jesus was afraid. But He did just what Grandma advised; He prayed to the Father for guidance and grace and then He gave all he had, especially His love.

Grandma Lena died that October while I was Iowa State. I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. But I am sure she knows that I love her. And she knows I’m still taking her advice. “Pray to God for guidance and grace and then give life all you’ve got, especially your love.”

Love you, Grandma.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.