MUTUAL LOVE SERIES – Sorrow and Joy (08/19/2025)

We got a phone call on April 29, 2020 that my husbands beloved mother had passed away. It was the height of the COVID epidemic, and we were advised that we would not be able to have a traditional funeral with a wake, church service and then graveside service. And we tried to wrap our heads around our loss but also the restrictions on how we mourned.

Because of the restrictions on gathering, only my husband, his three siblings, and spouses were going to be able to gather at the funeral home. After everyone arrived, we said our individual goodbyes to Ruth. Then, as they loaded the casket into the hearse, we were asked to form a procession of cars to go to the cemetery for the outdoor funeral service and internment. Before we left for our cars, the funeral home director told us that we were going to take a unique route to the cemetery. We weren’t sure what that meant at the time.

The funeral procession of cars, led by the hearse left the funeral home lot and began to make its way. We realized almost immediately that we were not going on a direct route, but it was a few minutes before we realized where we were going or why. And then we arrived at Ruth’s neighborhood, and as we drove past her home, the sidewalks on both sides of the street were lined with neighbors. They couldn’t come to her service, but they were there for Ruth and her family. There were people holding signs with messages. There were people waving. There were people who simply stood and watched respectfully as the hearse and family cars drove past.

Then the procession made its way to Ruth’s church in the next block of her small town, and still the street on both sides was lined with friends from her congregation who were there to recognize her, to honor her and her contributions, to mourn her. They were there for Ruth and her family.

The procession continued through the small town, and we were amazed. The people were lined up on the sidewalks for blocks. Ruth had done so much in the small community: she ran a home bakery and made birthday cakes, graduation cakes and wedding cakes for nearly everyone locally; she had directed the senior center for years in her small town; she had served as an EMT on the ambulance crew for years. As we drove, we were amazed at how many people had come out to honor Ruth, to grieve with us, to weep with us as we wept and to rejoice with us as we celebrated her life.

We never found out how the funeral procession and show of respect was coordinated. We were just amazed at how this small community came together to honor one of their own and to support empathetically her family.

In Paul’s Letter to the Romans 12:15, Paul writes: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”  I knew the passage by heart, but this was the first time I had seen it lived out loud with love so abundantly expressed. I will never forget it.

As Christians, it is our duty, our responsibility to support one another and to offer support to those of our community and beyond. We are called to share in not only the joy but also the sorrow, to sit with those who mourn as sincerely as we do with those who celebrate. When we follow in Christ’s footsteps, we encounter life as it is with joys and sorrows every day and at every turn. May we always and everywhere seek to be there for those whom we accompany and those whom we encounter along the way for love of Christ and love of one another.

It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be laid out for us. Sometimes we will need to improvise, but hopefully we will allow the Spirit to guide us as we seek to authentically share in the joy and sorrow of our sisters and brothers.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.